Under 21 Convention Journal: “The Gatekeeper”
“The Gatekeeper”
Thursday July 24th, 2008.
If I had to give this night a motto it would be “I don’t give a fuck.”
Zebra and I both presented today at the convention so we ended up sticking together for most of the day.
When it came time to go out, we decided we were going to tear this city a new one!
You see, it is always important to remember that when you are going out, you are going out to have a good time, and you are not going out to “pick up chicks.”
But if harassing every girl that walks your way in overly creative ways to pick them up is your idea of a good time…then you can come chill with me and Zebra : )
We start by entering a cool club in downtown Orlando. It is pretty packed and was actually very “ghetto” for my taste.
But personally I would rather be in a room filled with ghetto black guys than a room full of white guys that want to be ghetto black guys (Cough cough Worcester, Massachusetts)
Anyways Zebra and I come storming in. We see convention attendees everywhere and a ton are already in set which is great to see.
Zebra and I run up to a 5 set (4 girls, 1 guy).
I immediately assess the group and I can tell who the guy is with through body language and shit.
I take this into account and rely on the fact that he should keep his girl entertained. I introduce myself to him just to be safe.
Zebra and I work on the two hottest girls in the set. We immediately start flawlessly winging off each other.
We were lifting some of the girls off the ground and spinning them around.
(After that I noticed a way to pick up the other hot girl in the set. I accused her of being jealous that we did not pick her up off the ground and whispered in her ear “I promise…later tonight…when you least expect it…I will come up…and pick you right up off the ground”)
I can tell I have her turned on and the other girl is super into me also. Zebra ejected and started to talk to another group of girls. I figured I would go over and help him out but I wanted to “leave my seed” with this group.
As a joke, I was wearing my “Under 21 Convention I.D. badge” out at the clubs tonight (It was a hilarious conversation piece)
I took it off and put it on the girl that I had previously lifted off the ground.
I leave the set and they run off to the dance floor.
Zebra and I head up onto an elevated level of the club and continue to fuck around with ridiculous nonsensical openers.
We start talking to this one girl and immediately we are getting the psychopath vibe from her.
She tells me a riddle that goes:
A woman goes to her mother’s funeral. At that funeral she sees the man of her dreams. The next day she kills her sister. Why?
I was not able to guess the answer.
The answer is “So she would see the guy at her sister’s funeral”
I guess if you get the answer right the first time you hear the riddle, you are a psycho and have serial killer tendencies.
This girl then went on to explain how she got it right on the first time.
Shortly after she actually assaults Zebra for saying some silly nonsensical thing that she took the wrong way.
He gets the fuck out of there fast and now I am pinned up against this low rise balcony thing that is above the dance floor.
She is escalating on me and I know if I reject her, she may kill me (Literally).
I am freaking out.
As I back up against the rail, my elbow hits a glass beer bottle. The bottle goes falling off the rail and shatters on the dance floor below.
I look at the girl and go “HOLY SHIT, I GOTTA GET OUT OF HERE”
I run away to a distant part of the club : )
As I am avoiding “HB Crazy Biatch” and any security that may be wanting to yell at me, I see the girl that has my Under 21 Convention name badge on, dancing on the dance floor with some guy.
I come walking through the dance floor all smooth like and we make eye contact.
I give her my sexy stare and she smiles back.
I grab both her arms and pull her right off the guy she is dancing with like you would pull a band-aid off a cut: really quick and fluid.
I spin her around and we are grinding. I consider myself a good grinder and she was great also. Which I really like.
She was very good, I have my hands all over her thighs, waist and I have my thumbs wrapped under her g-string that started to rise from her pants line.
I start to get a raging boner and when that happens I never know what to fuckin do with it. I always try to tuck it my waist line so the girl does not feel it as much while we are dancing.
But like I said this is a “I don’t give a fuck night”
So instead of tucking it away or changing my stance I decided to get the life long question answered: “Is it okay for the girl to feel your boner while dancing?”
I become one with my boner and literally start jabbing her with it while we dance. I make sure she knows exactly what it is.
I feel like I am having a sword fight with a pillow as I slash my cock around her backside in a “Zorro” like manner.
I want to see how much I can get away with so I turn her around and start to grind with her on the front side.
She starts to kiss my neck and grind up really hard against my ever so present cock that is only being contained by some Boston Red Sox boxers and a pair of Levies.
I notice her hand dropping down to my waist line and she starts to “push” my waist off hers.
I think “Finally I crossed the line, about time!”
So I pull back a little….seconds later, she pulls me by thee waist band back into her. (really hard)
This actually really hurt my cock.
I soon realized she was not trying to push my cock away, but instead she was trying to rub it with her hand.
Obviously I have no objection to this and I escalate more on her as well.
Then all of a sudden that fucking song “I kissed a girl and I liked it” comes on and one of her friends comes diving in (like legit DIVING) and pulls the girl away from me.
I noticed all the other girls guys were in set with storm off to the dance floor. It was the craziest shit I had seen in a long time.
Fucking Katy Perry is the most unstoppable cock block known to man.
Anyway, she catches up with me after and says her and friends (the guy and the girl) are heading back to the hotel.
She invites me.
Two girls, two guys. The logistics are easy. But it’s still really early and I was not ready to “end the night.”
I take down her number and tell her I may swing by later. (I never do, oh well)
As they walk away I see her two friends that did not choose to leave.
One of them has two guys grinding against her.
Its not like hot though, she looks bored and it’s a little awkward.
I get eye contact from her and motion for her to come over.
She does not comply
I do it again
She mouths “later”
I come walking up. Scoop her from the two guys she is dancing with and pin her against the stage of the dance floor.
She is laughing super hard.
I pick her up, she wraps her legs around my waist and we do this weird hop grind thing.
I tell her “Told you that I would pick you up”
She laughs and I slowly let her down
However, I still had a boner so she feels it scrape down her whole body as I let her down. (I did not intend for that to happen)
She gives me a WTF look.
I look at her and go “That’s your friends fault.”
She walks away.
Who would have thought boner contact needs to be calibrated to the girl :P
Anyways, I catch up with Zebra and we decide to hit the streets. (Which by the way was the best venue of the night)
We test out ridiculous openers such as “Hey you, come here….” (The further away they are the better) and such classics as “Have you met my friend Tom Cruise/Orlando Bloom”
We continue to pump our “I don’t give a fuck” state with guys like Libido, Braddock, Ratisse, and just about anyone else that we encountered from the convention.
Zebra and I use a combination of ridiculous openers to open a super hot two set. It is going very well and they are making excuses why they would rather hang with us than go into the club.
I start to run “real” game on one of the girls but Zebra has not fully left his zero outcome dependant state and really drops a bombshell.
He gets the girls attention and says in a real seductive voice: “You know what I want to do? I want to get a big jar of mayonnaise…..and cover you guys with it. Then I want to take a napkin, and wipe it all off.” (Credit: Manwhore talking about what not to say)
Funny thing is, my girl does not seem to object to it but her friend is way too weirded and pulls the girl away.
I did not care because it was one of the most ridiculous things I have ever seen a guy say to girl.
Although… one of the lines we used a lot this night was “I want to start a company with you that makes bowling balls for the blind” so overall, most of our interactions were crazy and filled with ridiculous lines, so it was nothing I was not unused to.
Anyway after dicking around for the night Zebra and I decide to hit up the club one last time.
We enter and both have to go the bathroom but the club is way to packed to get from one end to the other.
We walk over to the V.I.P section and see if we can cut through.
That is when we run into “The Gate-keeper”
This girl is a 9.9 with looks alone (She could have been blonde) but she by far has the most value in the club. If I had to give her a number, it would be at least a 16 just cause of her value.
She decides who gets in and out of V.I.P
Zebra and I are no longer winging but pinging off each other back in forth just to see if we can get brief access to the bathroom.
When she says no I use the line “But I am very good looking” (One of our ridiculous line we were using this night)
She immediately throws it back in my face telling me how I should never tell a girl that.
I come back with “Its okay, I am not trying to pick you up.”
It’s on.
We eventually get access to V.I.P because some guy in there starts playing along and says “He knows us”
Slowly but surely, Zebra and I are removing this girls power trip frame.
Once we are in, we sit at one of the V.I.P booths, we decided to stay instead of go the bathroom cause we feared we would not be able to get back in.
The girl walks by and we have her sit between us.
Zebra and I are no longer winging.
We are using a deadly combination of my natural style game with his routine style game to create massive attraction in this girl.
I can’t even describe it but the whole interaction was a work of art. Two Pick Up Artists, working as one, to attract probably one of the most beautiful and high value girls in Orlando.
We give each other the “nod” that signifies “Worst comes to worst we can just double team her”
I immediately become more attracted to her as she guides people around the V.I.P section.
Guys would be moving around and she would push them down and be like “JUST SIT”
Looking back, I realized she was getting guys out of the way so she could talk to us more.
She even let some students from the convention into V.I.P cause we said we knew them.
She was in our frame. She knew it. So she tried to regain some power by pushing everyone else around. It was so hott.
We get her sitting again, this time, the kino escalation begins.
I had never feared for my life more than that night.
Literally every bouncer in the club was staring, no, LEERING, at me and Zebra.
She would literally have to tell guys that it was okay that we were talking to her.
She could have snapped her fingers and we would have been tossed out on the street corner.
Once again, it was so hott.
The club literally closes and we are still talking it up with her.
I get her number (She hides the fact that she is giving it to me so I don’t get beat up outside)
The next day she asks me how the convention is going (She saw my badge that I mentioned earlier)
I text her “Great, you can come, I will be outside by the door and you can beg to come in for half an hour until I finally give you the okay” (Reference to night before)
She says she is out with a bunch of friends but we make plans to hang out on Sunday. (Which get moved to Monday)
And yes, there is more to this story, go to the Under 21 Convention Journal Post: “Monday July 27th” to see what happens.
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This shit is hilarious I love it.
Look forward to reading the future posts!